Review by Tizzie Kite
I’ve been a huge Doctor Who fan ever since ‘Rose’ back in 2005; I’ve got all the
series on DVD, I own 3 DW t-shirts, a necklace and countless other random
merchandise. My favourite Doctor is, surprise, surprise, Tennant and my
favourite companion is Mickey (ooh, controversial). I took my best friend to
see the 50th anniversary special in 3D at the cinema, and went to a
party dressed as a weird amalgamation of Tennant and Smith’s Doctors. (I’m
pictured below, between my grandparents. What the picture doesn’t show are my
Tenth Doctor sonic screwdriver and Ten-esque converse).
Despite my strong, strong passion for all things
Gallifreyan, I really haven’t warmed to this series. In all honesty, it took me
a good few weeks to adjust to Matt Smith but not as long as it’s taking to like
Peter Capaldi. It may have something to do with the fact that I absolutely
cannot stand Clara’s character.
Anyway, onto ‘Time
Heist’. Well, where to begin? This week’s episode featured many references
to other films that are clearly inspirations of Moffat and Thompson. For
example, the case. I don’t know about you, but to me that was clearly a
reference to ‘Pulp Fiction’ and the
briefcase.
The episode (post-Clara-getting-ready-for-a-date) began by
tricking me into thinking that the Doctor was going to leave Clara behind. No
such luck :( Instead, we apparated Dumbledore-style into a room where no one
remembers anything due to rainbow caterpillars called Memory Worms that are
clearly caterpillars? They kind of glossed over that one. We were then
introduced to our allies for the episode; a mutant called Saibra and an Adam
Lambert look-a-like, half-human-half-computer called Psi who didn’t break into
Gangnam Style at any point during the episode. Which is a shame, as it would have
been quite the improvement. They all instantly trust each other, even though
they don’t know what they’re doing there and have just had their memories wiped
because Moffat.
Our main enemies appear to be a smartly dressed lady (a
reference to Meryl Streep’s character in ‘The
Devil Wears Prada’?) and a creature that is a cross between Pan from ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’ and Admiral Ackbar
from ’Star Wars’, called The Teller
(creepy stuff, right?). Plus, the elusive Karabraxos.
The setting for the episode is the bank of Karabraxos,
supposedly the universe’s most secure bank. They have clearly never been to
Gringotts. We discover that The Teller can sense guilt by scanning people’s
minds with its horn-things and then, if he finds any, turns their brains to
“soup” and their head becomes a deflated football. So, in order to avoid this,
you’ve just got to clear your mind. That’s a good message for kids, right? Keep
an empty mind?
We follow the newly-formed gang through the floor of the
bank and some tunnels (because that’s never a bad idea (!)), whilst they still
have no idea what they’re doing and just walk around in the hopes that “a thing
will happen” (which, incidentally, is my personal mantra). Saibra is caught by
the teller and “kills” herself before it can kill her. They then split up (in
hopes that The Teller will find Scooby and Shaggy?) and Psi “sacrifices”
himself to save Clara. A couple of things happen and they finally reach the vault
of mysterious things that they still don’t understand but oh no (!) the
activation failed and the door is still shut. But don’t worry, here comes a
solar storm which will open it for us! There’s an emotional moment where the
Doc and Clara find the objects that will solve Psi and Saibra’s problems in
life but they’re “dead” so oh well. And then the Teller just appears! How did
they not hear it? It’s freaking huge! And now they’re captured but the guards
are Saibra and Psi who are still alive and woah, that was an emotional
rollercoaster!
As always, the Doctor jumps in to save the day, even if he’s
been pretty useless up until that point. At the episode’s conclusion, the
Doctor says to the Teller; “You can do what you’ve always wanted to do.”
Disappointingly, this wasn’t my brother’s suggestion of “opening a corner
shop”, (which is a show that I would pay good money to watch. Would he know
what they wanted by scanning their brains?) but actually to free the other of
his species from Karabraxos’ vault. The final two of their race. Foreshadowing
Moffat?
All in all, ‘Tower
Heist’ left me with many questions; Was this episode designed to make us
question the Doctor’s loyalty to good by getting him to rob a bank? What kind
of name is The Architect? Does the Doc have a secret love for designing houses?
Or does he just sit around the TARDIS playing GTA V, as he called himself “a
gamer”? If the workers of the bank are incinerated upon being fired, what is
their pension scheme like? Why, on a futuristic, distant planet, do the lifts
still have the same voice announcing that the doors are opening? Why on earth
is he becoming a caretaker next week? And why is it going to be on at 8.30?
That’s WAY past my bedtime!
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